The 3 Rules Of The Internet

Like any good set of rules, these are left entirely at your own discretion to figure out how you’re going to apply them. They’re easy enough for a toddler to understand, and obvious enough that adults will look at this and go, “Duh. Why didn’t I think of that?” The answer? You did, you just never said it out loud. But remember that common sense ain’t so common, and sometimes the obvious stuff should be said out loud for that reason.

I realized this week that I gave up my only shot at having kids. This is probably for the best. People like me shouldn’t reproduce, and given that I think children should receive regular dropkicks from their parents to keep them in line, I think many of you would agree.