Mountain Dew’s Defense: It Can Dissolve a Mouse

A Wisconsin man, Ronald Ball, is suing PepsiCo for $50,000, claiming that after tasting a rancid Mountain Dew he bought from a vending machine, he poured out the contents of the can and discovered a dead mouse in his soda. Bloody hell.

After contacting the company, Ball sent the evidence to PepsiCo. Lawyers and experts from the company say that after closer examination, they determined that the mouse would’ve “dissolved in the soda” in the time between bottling and consumption, turning it into a “jelly-like substance.” Yeah, this is their defense.

To quote The AtlanticWire, “This seems like a winning-the-battle-while-surrendering-the-war kind of strategy that hinges on the argument that Pepsi’s product is essentially a can of bright green/yellow battery acid.”

Incredibly, this isn’t the first time that Mountain Dew has been blamed for degrading biological matter. In a story from a couple of years ago about Central Appalachia, massive Mountain Dew consumption was one of the factors attributed to the area’s high level of toothlessness.

The color of Mountain Dew probably should’ve been the first warning sign to us all, but this definitely doesn’t add to any sort of positive reputation for the soda.