'Unofficial Senior Partner' - The Curmudgeon at Large

[caption id="attachment_56931" align="alignright" width="315"] Herschell Gordon Lewis, president, Lewis Enterprises[/caption] A somewhat cynical observation: Educational institutions are disgorging higher and higher percentages of graduates (or drop-outs who claim an education) whose command of the English language is more and more sparse. Their lack of critical background makes them natural competitors for response-grabbing, leaders in the pseudo-information movement whose spread is terrifyingly wide. A model of such movement, present in stupefying numbers right now, is the “Take Command” movement. A marketer — whether food, entertainment, fund raising, investment, or travel — cavalierly replaces “Trust me” with “Trust me because you’re too stupid to trust yourself.” Wording doesn’t require polish; the key ingredient is projected self-importance. These marketers assume the posture of Senior Partner, leading a recipient into the receptivity-cave of the marketer’s choice. It’s the old “Bait-and-switch” sales pitch, honed just enough so those who are looking for economic salvation will interpret the words not as hope but as personal and positive reality lurking just behind the curtain. Copy is assumptive. Typical: This donor needs only “Confirmation from you” or “Your wireless internet is now ready.” Demand for action usually includes the need for timeliness, with words such as “today” or “only 15 available.” (Off this point for one moment: Two words beginning with “a” are signals to those who either have been stung by a similar offer or just know better. Those words are “available” and “among.” Note that either can be danger-signal, because these words trim to even shorter length the imagined leash tying recipient to sender.) The natural result of Take Command is immediate generating of built-in evidence. That evidence is either a natural “Yep” or a natural “Nope.” Positive evidence energizes a column such as this one, in your eyeballs and at your brain right now. The purpose isn’t to re-convert those whose skepticism makes them ineligible for instant renovation. Rather, it’s aimed like a Howitzer at its logical subgroup, apparently pointing out “This is for you” to those who haven’t succumbed to the miniaturized vocabulary and substitution of “you may” for “you will.” Why look for trouble that doesn’t pay off in response and needlessly causes potential widespread alarm if stretched to universal use? Easy proof: You’re reading this, which wouldn’t exist if Take Command hadn’t surged. Negative evidence is aimed squarely and openly at its target — sales literature including direct mail, space ads, targeted broadcast pitches, and domination (in volume, at least) of electronic media. Want an example? This email subject line: “Confirm your gift offer.” We, who look through the rhetorical keyhole, recognize the cleverness here. Is the gift to you or from you? The Take Command operator has taken command. That assumption by both parties delineates what type of message will have the strongest impact on a specific group. Automatic positioning — self-descriptive words such as “learn” and “earn” — lug an implicit peril. Currently popular lead-ins such as “5 ways to ...” or “How to ...” are routinely authoritative, which reduces their humanized position. Again, pro and con borderline targets are less likely to feel enslaved but more likely to interpret the claim as descriptive rather than motivational. (If only to be sure we’ve achieved the clarity this analysis demands, re-read the previous paragraph.) Opening the Communications Gate How wide should either the for-profit or the not-for-profit solicitor open the communications gate to maximize appeal and not display too heavy an emphasis on the sender as the commander? “Congratulations! You have been selected” carries the seeds of that danger. Replace the exclamation point following “Congratulations” with a period and the danger is somewhat diminished. Yes, somewhat, not totally. Open the gate too wide and your prey isn’t so unsophisticated he or she doesn’t identify himself or herself as prey: “Your action is required.” That very word “required” unmasks the Take Command commander. Initial caps — “Your Action Is Required” — not only drops the mask but can be interpreted even by those who don’t get a daily dose of Take Command as the arrogant replacement of courtesy with contempt — “Just who is requiring an ‘action’?” “Do what I say” does work within the limits of naiveté determined by the recipient’s position within the ranks of potentials. (Opinion: Even this group is better-reached by greater clarity, such as “Thank you,” a mild move toward suggesting equal partnership.) Paralleling that point, “You’re missing out” carries a stronger rejection-factor than either “You‘re in danger of missing out” or “You don’t have to miss out.” Which of these will generate the fewest pages flipped, phones hung up, or click-outs on the computer mouse? “You don’t have to wait any longer” or “Luck is with you. Your waiting is over” or “You must be tired of waiting” or “At last! No more waiting.” Even from these unexplained samples, it’s obvious that the answer depends on who is the target of that subject line. Those who have had prior negative experiences with similar generalized pitches will be more suspicious, ergo less likely to respond, even if only a handful of such offers appear on the computer screen. So trigger-words, such as “Luck” and “At last!” which might be the choice of analysts, lose luster as exposure to conditional success disguised as unconditional success damages overall receptivity. This diatribe has leaped far beyond any sane limit, so I’ll end it with a challenge: switching a statement to a question eases the operator into an acceptable limbo-territory that otherwise alienates what might be the best grist for his or her mill. If your tired brain grabs and shakes that concept , tell the editor of this worthy online communication and we just might attack it — the purpose as always being to increase response. Herschell Gordon Lewis is president of Lewis Enterprises in Pompano Beach, Florida. Author of 32 books including “On the Art of Writing Copy” (now in its fourth edition), “Hot Appeals or Burnt Offerings,” and “How to Write Powerful Catalog Copy,” he is a member of the Direct Marketing Association Hall of Fame. He can be reached at 954.782.1750 or hgl@herschellgordonlewis.com. Cell is 954.600.7073.

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'Unofficial Senior Partner' - The Curmudgeon at Large

Herschell Gordon Lewis

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Herschell Gordon Lewis