Afternoon Bites

–BP is all about alternatives, slippery oily alternatives.

–Get the hell out of Palestine? Get the hell out of the press room: Helen Thomas retires from the White House press corps, just shy of her 90th birthday.

–The terrorists have won: Australia creates world’s biggest hamburger. ($1500, 178 pounds, 20 hours of cook time.)

–Alert the media: Snooki and other stars Tweet during MTV Music Awards.

–North Korea hacks South Korean computers for image repair.

–Sexy Citibanker Debbie Lorenzana’s PR push could cost her current job.

–Christian PR Agency blames low American Idol ratings on Ellen DeGeneres being a lesbian.