I’m Quitting All Of Them Except Farmville

I love this one. After a tirade about how applications are “taking away precious hours of my day”, this woman proceeds to give the game five stars! I guess this is just a tragic tale of putting away your toys as they take up too much time, but wait what is that comment at the end? “I am quitting all of them, except Farmville”. Besides being hilarious, this is really a testament to the fact that Farmville is the most addictive, powerful game that millions of female gamers have ever seen.

3 Star Rating… For An Unreleased Game

I understand that this guy is excited, but I didn’t know he was excited enough to channel psychic powers and predict that this unreleased game will merit 3 stars! This is how ratings are almost meaningless these days, as they’re filled with random comments like this. Also note that his friend just had to comment a big “yeahhh!” as his support. This rating was completed when the Hotel City ratings were open before the game was released, and 23 users went ahead and rated the game to an average of 3.8/5. Pretty good score for a blank screen!

Virtual World and Real World Collide?

I have a feeling this woman began to lose the distinction between real pets and virtual pets, and it amounted to something of a plea for help. It’s a sad story, punctuated by awesome emoticons and a one star rating. Wait, why the one star rating? This is just some emotional baggage masquerading as a game review. This highlights the whole point of this article: this rating has nothing to do with this game’s quality!

Expression of Artistic Taste

One day, social games and apps will be a great way to express your artistic side. Imagine sharing your art with all your friends with just a click. Well this guy wanted to skip that wait by starting to use Facebook game ratings as his communication channel of choice. In a review for Pet Society, this guy felt he would break artist barriers by posting a large text-art version of Hip Hop and a five star rating. I’m sure hip hop artists around the world are proud that their art form slash rebel music has now evolved into Facebook ratings. Eminem would be proud.

I Don’t Really Use It

Wait, how does the game get three stars if you don’t use it? This doesn’t tell anybody anything about the game, or really anything at all other than the fact that this girl wants people to be aware she doesn’t use this application. She came all the way to the ratings page to let the random public know this about the game. I’m totally mystified as to why someone would do this. Kids these days…

I Am From An Invalid Country

Scrabble by EA is only available for play in North America. If you live outside that area, you get a screen letting you know you can’t play the game. Therefore, their application rating board is absolutely dominated by one star reviews like this. It’s a sad tale, because EA and Hasbro have their hands tied on this one, and can’t offer the game to anybody outside those territories (that’s Mattel land). It doesn’t stop this young woman from giving them one star and also letting us know why. I am not sure if EA uses the term “invalid country”, but it’s certainly a terribly misfortunate way of describing the situation.

I Need Help So Add Me As A Friend

Most reviews for Hotel City and Pet Society are attempts to get new friends. That’s the plain truth. They give the game five stars and hope someone will add them so they can visit their houses and get more virtual currency per day. The whole social gaming world works like this, as most games reward players who have more friends in the game. These games are so powerful that they cause a ton of players to abandon any hopes of building a meaningful social network, and just add everyone under the sun to maximize their profits. All these players eventually end up trying to quit, but can’t!

Down With Corporations

Game ratings are supposed to be about the game, but this man is using the rating to attack customer service and a “bloated corporate entity”! When someone is making a judgement to play this game, I don’t know if they’re interested in seeing a casual game rating based on your personal analysis of corporate overheads. This is a game. 🙂

Some of you more astute readers may be wondering where the tenth item is. Well, we received a letter from a certain company that was mentioned in one of these, and had to take it down! No ill will, but we understand their position and they understand ours. 🙂