THIS JUST IN: Canadian Supreme Court Hearts Internet Trolls

THIS JUST IN 2Discussions about offering the full slate of human rights to certain undesirables began with prisoners. Then, the debate extended to deadbeat dads. A small group of people began using that argument for reality stars.

And now, that heated discussion has Internet trolls in its cross hairs. They create a fake profile, use a fake email, keep the egg head avatar, develop a catchy name like “YourMom” and proceed to hurl hate bombs in your direction.

Today, even the worst trolls have a home. If you want to travel north of the border, don’t get those Canucks miffed because the Canadian Supreme Court could care less about your feelers or their anonymity.

Just look at them! Would you care about anonymous turds sleeping in their Star Wars Snuggies using salty language to discuss the latest comic book movie if you had to look like this?

canadian supreme court

Santa Claus, please pick up the white courtesy phone. Your drunk, homeless cousins are on line one.

In short, thanks to a lawsuit from a pervert named Matthew Spencer of Saskatoon, Saskatchewan that attacked him for being a collector of child porn, it is now forbidden for any Internet Service Provider (ISPs) from disclosing the names, addresses and phone numbers of their customers to law enforcement officials voluntarily in response to a simple request.

Yeah, he won.

What’s the big deal, right? It’s some amendment in there, yes? Everyone has a right to privacy. Even Internet trolls, which means now thanks to the nine Scrooges, any law preventing cyberbullying could now be unconstitutional.

Yeah, Internet privacy. Yeah, mean girls. Yeah, idiots who spew hate and can’t spell. Oh Canada, indeed.