Telethon Madness–Begging for Dollars on GSN

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FBLA ceases to be appalled. We just don’t have anything left, especially after finding this on Craigslist:

CASTING PERSONALITIES ONLY: CHARM AMERICA TO VOTE FOR U AND WIN!

America, you’re in luck! GSN is going to break the TELETHON genre! Now the Telethon, in all its ruffled tux glory, is going to serve the needs of the general TV viewing public. HERE IS A CHANCE FOR REAL PEOPLE WITH REAL PROBLEMS OR REAL NEEDS TO COMPETE FOR A PRIZE THEY WANT AND/OR NEED. YOU (and a celebrity we pair you with) will compete to win-over the folks at home in order to resolve YOUR problem, however seemingly insignificant it may be (everything from money for hair plugs to attend your 10 year high school reunion and look good, to cash to finally take your wife on that honeymoon you promised her 15 years ago to a new guitar or even a new car).
You and your celebrity (that we choose) will put on a Telethon to get what YOU WANT, NEED AND HAVE LIVED WITHOUT, BUT WOULD BE ‘OH SO NICE TO FINALLY HAVE!”

Unlike the Jerry Lewis show, which raises money for frivolous causes, GSN is tackling the real needs of real people.

FBLA says “Why bother with the middle-man?” Why not have contestants compete for the charity of real, live celebrities? If you can convince Britney Spears you need hair plugs–she writes a check! New kitchen wall-paper? Beg Courtney Cox to help out!
Liver transplant needed–Jeremy Piven gives you his! And you have to take it!