Take Our Fishies, Please!

It’s been yet another week of fabulous fishiness, and we hope you will like our utterly arbitrary selections. If you don’t, drop us a line at FishyFishFish@mediabistro.com and let us know who YOU think deserves to be so honored. Actually, we just made that email address up right now but write to it and tell us if it works. Okay, without further ado, let’s get Fishy with it!

1. How Now, Dow Jones? I think this gem from BusinessWeek may be our favorite headline of the week, though we’re still partial to the whole “Take my prez, please!” thing (see joke-flogging headline).

2. But what they really like is gigantitude and hugeiosity: Our friend Fareed Zakaria‘s had a good week by us, but we can’t let the lede for his Newsweek cover story on China’s incipient hegemony slide: “Americans admire beauty, but they are truly dazzled by bigness.” Fareed, if you just learn to use big words like “incipient” and “hegemony,” we think you’ll go far.

3. Do John Dewey and Jurgen Habermas dare to eat a peach? Eric Alterman’s lede in this week’s Nation column is written for exactly the type of blueblood liberals that get Michael Wolff so darn riled up. We just think it’s fun to say “Jurgen Habermas” over and over.

4. Three words: Operation Salami Drop. Funny enough to get a second gratuitous mention.

5. “So Catholics are running Hollywood, huh?” “Great Moments In Punditry, As Read By Children” on last night’s Daily Show may have been the funniest thing we’ve seen all week. Oh, the voices of children raised together in the squabblings of irascible talking heads! Comedy gold. Best of all: TV weeds out the ugly kids. (The Daily Show also gets DOUBLE bonus points for Wednesday night’s interview with Martin Short, who is not only Canadian but compared himself to Ben Vereen in “Pippin” – a clear showtune reference. Who’s laughing now, huh?)

6. Vanity Fair on Tony Curtis: All about the nut-graf. There’s a lot in this month’s Vanity Fair: Angelina Jolie and Nancy-Jo Sales comparing booty calls as a single mom; Jeff Guckert-cum-Gannon on his pre-White House booty calls as a paid escort; the gorgeous “Alpha Broadway” ensemble shoot (very good-looking booty calls); and Michael Wolff with the definitive last word on the unfunny liberal media (except for the part where he doesn’t like Jack Shafer’s response so he responds back). But the first place I (and certain members of the New York Tennis & Racquet Club) looked was on page 186 for the “Full Tony”: Curtis, naked except for two strategically-placed doggies. And they’re, er, little doggies. Enough said.

P.S. I’m not into octogeneric porn or anything, I just wanted to see if Vanity Fair would really cross the full-frontal line. I think they came closer with Jeff Gannon.

That’s all for us! Have a great weekend! Enjoy the salami.