Lots of States Apparently Want to Secede Now

Well, OK, that headline may be just a tiny bit misleading. But we are somewhat amused to report that, as of right now, groups claiming to represent at least twenty states have created accounts on the White House’s official “open petitions” page in order to request the opportunity to secede from the USA and form their own governments.

We certainly don’t want to deny these overzealous patriots the right to have some fun. According to the “We the People” project started in 2011, the White House will respond to any petition that receives 25,000 signatures in less than 30 days. Several of these pages are already close to that number, so some lucky communications intern will be writing form emails to a bunch of would-be revolutionaries over the next few weeks.

Something tells us they won’t be satisfied.

We don’t want to make generalizations: Note, for example, that many of those who added their virtual signatures to the New York version of the “secession petition” don’t live anywhere near the state.

A hint, though, for the petitioners: One of the most popular answers to the question “How can we improve the economy?” in a 2009 voter participation survey was “legalize marijuana”, and the president just laughed at that one. So we’re saying that your approach won’t work. In the meantime, feel free to make the millions of other Americans who live in your respective states look clueless by association.

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