TRUE CONFESSION: 'I Was A Facebook Hussy!'

A friend confessed that she got around on Facebook. Here's her true story.

A friend of mine just confessed to me that she was a “Facebook hussy.” Here’s what she told me — I’ve put it in first person, using her words.

It all began about a year ago when I was let go from my job as a muckety-muck running a human resources department at a prestigious law firm.

My days were soon filled with boredom and self-deprecation. I also turned to Ben & Jerry’s to fill a void, soothe my emotional pain. I tried to eat myself into the next decade but alas, with my genetic makeup, the scale barely moved.

Until that point, I had pretty much maintained a Facebook account but barely used it. On one particular real mental slump day, I decided to visit the social networking site to see what was going on with some friends of mine. A lightbulb suddenly turned on: Why not try and get some dates to fill my days?

I first began cruising my circle of friends to see who was available. Married men were forbidden fruit. Men with kids were at the bottom of my list. Men past the age of 40 were charity cases and held for times of utter desperation!

I made up my list of wants and needs, then I’d place my intended conquests under the following categories of: sex, companionship, conversation and meals.

As I ran through my immediate list of 178, I managed to secure 11 dates — not a bad start. Then, as time progressed, I reached beyond my circle of friends to friends of friends, then onward and upwards, to friends of friends of friends.

In nine months, I went out with 38 guys –again, not bad at all and boy did they keep my home, cell and email accounts hopping.

I have no real complaints about any of the men I’ve actually gone out with — no freaks, potential rapists, sociopaths or disease incubators I can truthfully say, the times I spent with each of the men I met via Facebook were mostly fun and they kept a smile on my face.

The man I’m with now, exclusively, was one whom I met via a friend of a friend of a friend. We’ve been together now for three months and it’s good. As a matter of fact, he fits into every one of my previously specified categories and my life feels complete.

I am working again in human resources, so all was not as doom and gloom as I predicted it would be. All seems right with the world.

The use of “hussy” might mean someone who is immoral but I use the word lightly to describe my dating pattern instead. If you’re wondering if I slept with all of the Facebook dates, not that this is any of your business, but I didn’t. For the most part, I was just looking to have fun and keep it light until I found the right guy and Facebook helped me discover my “Mr. Right One.”

So this “Facebook hussy” has officially retired — for now….