Confession: we didn’t even realize that International Talk Like a Pirate Day was a thing until yesterday, when we heard rumor that certain brands might be usin’ and abusin’ the word “matey.”
Apologies for our ignorance, lasses — we should have known that the “only holiday to come into being as a result of a sports injury” would offer clients plenty of opportunities to get attention on social media.
Without further ado, then: arrgh, parrots, Johnny Depp and Geoffrey Rush. You know the deal.
1. Krispy Kreme
We’re pretty sure that pirates didn’t eat donuts, but Krispy Kreme really latched on to this one.
— krispykreme (@krispykreme) September 18, 2014
Now we’re a little sad that New York’s only Krispy Kreme location is in Penn Station, aka the Sixth and Seventh Circles of Hell.
2. The History Channel
History does what they do best, though they didn’t really go for the humor angle, did they?
— HISTORY (@HISTORY) September 19, 2014
3. Sour Patch Kids
Remind us again: do gummies prevent scurvy?
4. Bud Light
While we do respect Bud Light’s effort here, serious pirates might prefer what our cousin in South Carolina calls “Bud Heavy.”
— Bud Light (@budlight) September 19, 2014
Many publishers took the moment to promote their own pirate-themed treasures, and Penguin UK took the stuffed pirate route:
— Penguin Books UK (@PenguinUKBooks) September 19, 2014
6. Random House
This entry is more relevant though, isn’t it?
7. Sesame Street
These guys kept things educational with a little help from Tina Fey, who never misses the chance to make an arrrrful joke:
8. Martha Stewart Living
Something tells us Tina would approve of Martha’s 100% safe decorating theme, though this is really more “beachside” than “open ocean”…
Wait, you mean they’re not one and the same?!
10. Minions Punny.
Well, we do like the American Primitive-style painting.
12. Slimming World
Never heard of this brand, and the transition is a quite awkward. Points for effort, though? Arrgh? 13. Chick-Fil-A
Nice shot. We do wonder whether their executives have heard the rumors about lonely pirates stuck out at sea…
14. Captain Morgan
We think this counts, though frankly we can’t believe this brand isn’t all over Pirate Day. Too easy?
15. Pirate’s Booty
Well that was obvious.
16. The Pittsburgh Pirates
We knew these guys wouldn’t let us down.
— Pittsburgh Pirates (@Pirates) September 19, 2014
Yes, we know that this is not a brand. But could there be a better fit with Pirate Day than the original proto-metal band? Lemmy approves.
— Official Motörhead (@myMotorhead) September 19, 2014
Now who’d we miss?