A thriving subset of chick lit has devoted itself to retailing the downside of mothers’ lives. Thus, the gushy orthodoxy that motherhood is swell is in danger of being replaced by a new orthodoxy that says it’s a drag. Now, a study offers evidence that mothers don’t find their role so dismal after all. A project of the Institute for American Values, the University of Minnesota and the University of Connecticut, “The Motherhood Study” draws on extensive polling among mothers who have at least one child under age 18.
Asked how they’ve felt all or most of the time in the past year, mothers were more likely to say “content” (69 percent), “confident” (65 percent) and “appreciated” (48 percent) than to lament feeling “burdened” (11 percent), “isolated” (9 percent) or “depressed” (8 percent). Likewise, they were more likely to rate their overall sense of well-being as “excellent” (28 percent) or “good” (56 percent) than as “fair” (14 percent) or “poor” (1 percent). This reflects their rejection of the notion that kids get in the way of what they should really be accomplishing. Eighty-one percent said mothering “is the most important thing I do.” Moreover, 93 percent endorsed the view that a mother’s contribution to the care of her children is so unique “that no one else can replace it.”
In some ways, the kids themselves seem less worrisome to mothers than other, extraneous factors. Pop culture is conspicuous among these. Eighty-eight percent of respondents said they’re “concerned about the influence of the media on my children,” and 87 percent “about the influence of advertisements.” Even so, 59 percent agreed “strongly” (and 30 percent “somewhat”) with the statement, “I am confident I can raise my children to be the kind of people I want them to be, despite any negative influences in our culture.” Work is, of course, the great complication for many mothers. While a majority want paid employment, they don’t want too much: Just 16 percent said a full-time job is their ideal work situation—although that’s what 41 percent now have. On the plus side, 53 percent of working respondents said their employer does “very well” at accommodating their needs as mothers, with another 30 percent saying it does “somewhat” well.
Whatever their shortcomings, husbands seem to be a net plus for mothers. “Eighty-eight percent of married mothers said they were ‘very’ satisfied with their lives as mothers, compared to 80 percent of cohabiting mothers and 62 percent of single mothers.” One surprise in the poll: “In the overall sample, mothers are nearly evenly split as to whether they want the father of their children more actively involved in their upbringing.”
Apparently They Missed The News That Their Lives Are Mostly Misery
