This Week In Pool Reports

Is there anything scarier than a bush groomed to look like a poodle?

  • “Fratto answered a few questions at noon. Someone asks why the president decided to speak at this commencement since he’s never spoken at a high school graduation, and very few presidents have done so before him. Fratto said it was because Bush was particularly struck by what he saw during his visit after the storm last year. ‘It’s not often that a town of this size is 95 percent destroyed. He may have met every resident who was in town that day. He felt a closeness with the whole town and he was impressed with their willingness to rebuild,’ Fratto said.” — Sandhya Somashekhar, The Washington Post

  • “This report contains one really large bush trimmed in the shape of a poodle or terrier or maybe both, $500 K raised by the RNCC with the help of President Bush and no news at all, nothing worth reading really, save for gratuitous color commentary on a nice night out in Virginia. It was 5:20 pm EDT at our arrival, cool, crisp and only partly cloudy and definitely not in a traditionally defined recession yet, and, friends, the excitement was mounting by the minute. We waited, motors running, glug glug glug, for the landing of Marine One on a lush soccer pitch, green as the cash the RNCC was raising this evening.” — Mark Silva, Chicago Tribune

  • “Marine One landed on the pitch at 6 pm, bathed in the warm light of the sinking sun on a cool evening. With a salute and a wave, the president stepped out in a dark blue suit, light blue shirt and red tie and walked across the grass and out the gate of the black chain link fence surrounding the field and climbed into a limo. The now complete motorcade rolled straight out and across the road into a subdivision on the south side of Braddock Road. It was called Brecon Ridge. Get it?” — Silva

  • “The motorcade arrived at 6:18 at Chez Peterson, a sprawling modern ranch of stained wood siding with a lovely glassed porch looking out into undeveloped woods behind it and a large pond beneath the hilltop house — the hillside planted in white and pink azaleas. To the side of the house, a garden contains a number of really large bushes — one clipped in the shape of a dog, six feet tall. Now, the body and legs say poodle, but the tail says terrier. There was another tall bush cut in the shape of the abominable snowman, arms outstretched.” — Silva

  • “Pool was warned upon entering oval that no questions would be taken, and pool was quickly ushered out after about three minutes. Pool was told to head out rear doors and to briefing room. But the smiling president caught the eye of Fox cameraman Brian Haefeli, and said ‘In your case, it’s back to the bar,’ within earshot of all assembled White House staffers and press. Laughter ensued.” — David Nitkin, Baltimore Sun

  • “Pool takes helicopters behind Marine One en route to the South Kent, Conn. estate of Henry Kissinger. Pool lands on the incredibly expansive and groomed Kissinger lawn at 12:55. POTUS and Marine One land four minutes later. POTus out at 1:01, greeted by Kissinger and his wife, Nancy. Chris Shays also along w/POTUS. ‘Thank you for mowing the lawn for us,’ POTUS quips.” — Dan Eggen, The Washington Post