This Week In Pool Reports

Vice President Cheney and his trip to Chicago takes center stage in this pool round-up. We can hardly think of a funnier sight than Cheney mobbed by little girls in the American Girl store.

  • “VPOTUS rode into Chicago in a 16-vehicle motorcade accompanied by more than a half-dozen police motorcycles. In traffic en route to the city, the motorcade passed a white van filled with school kids giggling and gesturing. ‘I Farted,’ said the hand-scribbled sign one held up to the window.” — Peter Baker, Washington Post

  • “It appeared, though, that for all the tough lines, VPOTUS took out a few of the toughest. An advance text of prepared remarks given to your pool ahead of time had him saying that “the new Democratic majority resembles nothing so much as the McGovernite Party of the early 1970s.” As delivered, though he still compared them to George McGovern, he dropped the words ‘McGovernite Party’ and said “that old party” instead. Likewise, the prepared text had VPOTUS mocking Sen. Harry Reid for claiming the American people supported the Democrats’ war supplemental. ‘Harry Reid may be the only man in America who thinks we need to spend millions of dollars fighting crickets in Nevada in order to win a war in Iraq,’ said the text. But VPOTUS skipped that in the actual speech.” — Baker

  • “Afterward, VPOTUS and Liz Cheney made an OTR stop at the American Girl Place around the corner to pick up a gift for her daughter’s seventh birthday party tomorrow. The place was jammed with mothers and daughters hunting for the latest American Girl dolls, clothes and storybooks. At first, many in the intense mob didn’t even recognize VPOTUS. But then a few noticed and began to swarm him. ‘The vice president’s here!’ someone called out. ‘Say, ‘Hi, Mr. Vice President,” another mother instructed her daughter. VPOTUS played blocking back, distracting the crowd by posing for photographs with little girls, two and three at a time, while Liz made her selections.” — Baker

  • “VPOTUS, reserved as ever in a crowd, nonetheless took on all comers, agreeably shaking hands and sometimes even smiling for the cameras. He had a wary look in his eye whenever an adult approached, almost as if wondering whether someone would confront him. But none did and everyone seemed excited or at least intrigued to see a famous person up close.” — Baker

  • “As the two emerged onto the street, several hundred people were waiting to watch. Some in the crowd pointed excitedly and scattered applause broke out. But a few protesters were on hand as well, holding up signs such as ‘Cheney War Profiteer,’ ‘Cheney War Criminal’ and ‘You Suck, Dick.’ (Another good reason granddaughters should not be reading pool reports.)” — Baker

  • “A couple little newslets: Vice President Cheney’s plane hit a bird as it was landing here in Chicago this morning, but Air Force Two touched down safely and no one aboard even noticed, according to Lea Ann McBride. ‘The landing was safe,’ McBride said. ‘The VP was notified immediately after his speech.’ Mechanics are now checking the plane to make sure it will be safe to fly back. No word on the condition of the bird.” — Baker