They Won’t Be Missed Dept.: Powell is history

Here in the narrow canyonlands of Manhattan, Fishbowl is far from the ticker-tape debris that interns are sweeping up all along Pennsylvania Avenue. But The Associated Press’s news that mind-numbingly inept FCC chairman Michael K. (“Little Colonel”) Powell has finally gotten the boot – only days after daddy signed off, too – makes us feel all patriotic with righteous glee.
Except Powell’s still cagey about when we’ll see the last of him and his G-12-issue suit. And, rest assured, he won’t deign to throw a press release himself, oh, no. That’s what the help is for:
The AP just reported that the unpopular progeny “planned to issue a statement Friday” about exactly when he’ll step down. His “friend” Jonathan Cody who also advises him on media issues (memo to self: with friends like these…) told the AP that Powell “…took a look broadly at what we’ve done and felt that it was the right time to pass the reigns on.” Well, dress me up in a winding sheet, Mike, why not just come out and tell us yourself how your witchhunt all over the networks and your prurient (and puerile) interest in Janet Jackson’s right breast created a new sexual Ice Age that William Jennings Bryan would have been proud of.
Ask your daddy, who only recently lost everyone’s respect, how to talk to the public. And when to bug out and call it even once they turn like cur dogs. You’re like the kind of houseguest who won’t leave as long as there’s free booze.
Have you no sense of timing, sir, at long last? Have you no sense of timing?
Schadenfreude meter rating (1-10): A decent 9. At least.