The Week In Pool Reports

Don’t pick on the POTUS. He does not seem to enjoy the teasing, or at least that is what Bartholomew Sullivan learned. Also, sniffle sniffle, this marks Joe Curl’s last pool round-up. Thank goodness he made the funny cut. And, Steven Lee Myers has some great ideas as to how to pass the time in the pool.

  • “As the pool was being led out, the president turned to Reuters correspondent Toby Zakaria and the following exchange occurred: The president: ‘Will you stop yelling at me?’ Zakaria: ‘I never yell at you.’ The president: ‘You yell at me.’ Zakaria: ‘Never.'” — Bartholomew Sullivan, Scripps Howard News Service

  • “Be patient and kind to your stenos today; their equipment disappeared from the pool hold and they’re doing a heroic job of trying to make do as they produce transcripts today.
    ” — Peter Baker, The Washington Post

  • “First, the mystery of the missing stenography gear: Steno Extraordinaire Ellen Eckert (who provides you daily with the transcripts of President Bush — even without a cheat-sheet of phonetics) hunted down her lost equipment, which was (all along) in the hands of the security men at the grand Waldorf Astoria. Hence, more transcripts for you. Thank her.
    ” — Joseph Curl, The Washington Times

  • “POTUS pulled out at 10:53
    a.m. and sped along the deserted FDR Drive, heading uptown. The motorcade did not turn right into Harlem, but instead left, into the Upper East Side (go figure), arriving at 1120 5th Ave. (cross street — E. 93rd) at 11:04. Upstairs in the large building was the apartment of Jennifer (Manhattan GOP chair) and Roger Yaffa (you know the kind, an efficiency, hot plate, mattress on the floor). No, your pool did not see the plush Yaffa pad, but instead held three blocks away at the nearby Three Guys restaurant (broiled
    Boston scrod — $13.95). The RNC said the event pulled in enough to buy 71,428 slabs of scrod (about $1 million).” — Curl

  • “At 11:55 a.m., your pool rushed out the vans — where it sat for 39 minutes before the motorcade pulled out. First guy on the street corner — the one-finger salute. No scrod for you! Come back, one year!
    ” — Curl

  • Along the way, a young woman sitting cross-legged on the sidewalk. On each leg, a toddler — twin boys, maybe 2. She waved their arms for them; she smiled, they smiled. They just saw the leader of the free world drive by. Pretty cool. Mom beamed an angelic smile at your pool van as it passed, and waved her boys’ hands at us. That, too, pretty cool. Thanks, whoever you are.
    ” — Curl

  • “We are reliably informed that Bush’s glass held non-alcoholic beer, but he was not seen actually drinking anything during the toasts.” —
    David Jackson, USA Today

  • “We’re now waiting in the Express Bar before the opening of Security Council meeting.
    ” — Steven Lee Myers, New York Times