Sundown on Sunset

preggersklum.jpgMILFs Unite! Manage to lose that gut after giving birth? Can you change a diaper with one hand while balancing your new Vanity Mark tweezers with the other? Well, then beat those other bitches who claim to be able to do the same thing. The Hottest Mom in America contest is looking for entrants at 8 a.m. on Sunday, Oct. 22 at the El Rey. C’mon, you’re never too maternal to be objectified.

dmx.jpg…Speaking of F***ing Moms: TMZ.com tells us that DMX‘s baby momma says she definitely did not rape the rapper. Thanks, TMZ. We really needed some closure on that.

sofia.jpgCaroline Kepnes began her reign over the E! Online Megaplex column, giving readers a lot less testasterone and a lot more funny. To wit: “Sofia’s films are like sushi. They’re really decadent and beautiful, and everyone likes them except me.”

… And, with that, we are leaving all y’all for the weekend. Happy Friday the 13th. Stay away from werewolves, witches and those Jesus Freaks who try to hand you God-hates-you fliers.