NYT.com’s Proof: Drink Before Reading

If you are not already reading the Times Proof blog you should be. Despite the fact it appears to only be written by people who no longer drink (one reader compared this trend to a sex column written by chastity converts), and one of last week’s posts featured a writer who thinks that New Yorker’s no longer imbibe at parties, it’s quickly turning into one of our favorite blogs over there. Of course often times arguably for the wrong reasons — it can sort of be like listening to your parent’s recount their wild youth (and really how difficult is it to find a writer under 35 who drinks) — but still!

Take today’s post. Contributor Glenn Eichler has come up with a list (apparently real and imagined) of things he’s heard drunk people utter at parties. This one is our favorite: “So I told human resources flat out, it’s not sexual harassment if I can prove I’m impotent.” There’s a few more after the jump, though you might need a few drinks to find the humor in them, so mission accomplished, maybe?

“I haven’t seen you in forever! Whatever happened to that morals charge?”

“I would love to show you Italy like a native. The Italy of the Its.”

“I could be further up the ladder, but I won’t play their corporate games. Men’s Room, Women’s Room — too many rules.”

“Has anyone ever told you that you have the air of a much more successful person?”

“I don’t usually drink this much, but you’re insufferable.”

“I had pants on when I came in, right?”

“Aren’t holiday parties great?”