Need a Writer Like Matt Damon Had

We don’t need to defend our Craigslist addiction do we? Every so often a gem like this pops up and if we weren’t checking it a couple times a day – we’d miss it:

PROFESSIONAL WRITER NEEDED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reply to: job-637006783@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-04-10, 1:38AM PDT

I have been working for 3 years on this script/novel/screenplay without significant progress and thus am seeking the help of a professional writer with abundant movie writing experience to complete it. Look what I am reduced to doing. The only thing that I have completely written so far is my acceptance speech for the Academy Award (LOL.) Ideas like this only come by once in a lifetime. Unfortunately, I don’t have a fellow writer like Matt Damon did.

Writer must be comfortable with writing graphic science fiction/horror type of movie script. Prefer writer with at least 3-5 years experience. Project is to be completed ASAP.

You must provide full name and phone number in response so I can look you up in the WGAW website. Also, tell me about your greatest writing accomplishment.

NO DRUGGIES OR PSYCHOS NEED APPLY. Don’t waste my time.

FYI script has been notarized and filed with my attorney for safe keeping and all conversations will be recorded for my protection. Sorry I had to say that, but come on who are we kidding here.

No pay. Only fame. No kidding. Ad is here. Good luck applicants!