Latest GQ Cover Story Reads Like a Diary Entry

The latest issue of GQ features a profile of Chris Evans – the star of the upcoming super hero flick Captain America – written by Edith Zimmerman. Zimmerman is the Editor of The Awl spinoff The Hairpin, and a columnist for New York Magazine, so you’d think the profile would be worth reading. And it is, if you’re a 20-something woman looking for some juicy gossip.

The Evans piece unfortunately reads like a diary entry from a girl with a serious crush on a celebrity. Zimmerman spends more time talking about how much she and Evans flirted than anything else. Here’s a few examples:

And from ten minutes into that first interview, when he reached across the table to punctuate a joke by putting his hand on top of mine, Chris kept up frequent hand holding and lower-back touching, palm kissing and knee squeezing. He’s an attractive movie star, no complaints. I also didn’t know how much I was supposed to respond; when I did, it sometimes felt a little like hitting on the bartender or misconstruing the bartender’s professional flirting for something more. I wanted to think it was genuine, or that part of it was, because I liked him right away.

Okay, so we get that she likes him. That, we were hoping, would be it. Now she would move on to telling us some interesting things about how the comic book ties in with the movie or how Evans prepared for the role. But nope! More flirting:

In the vast backseat, Chris was even more flirtatious than before, touching my arm and my knee. At this point, which was a…number of drinks in, it was easy to forget that it really was an interview, and I’d be lying if I said it didn’t cross my mind that something might happen (and that we’d go to the Oscars and get married and have babies forever until we died?).

It keeps going:

It was around then that we were spotted by the gossip reporter that I didn’t know was a gossip reporter, or else I wouldn’t have explained to him on the way back from the bathroom that Chris was ‘soo flirty’ and that I had ‘the biggest crush on him.’ Haha. Oops!

There’s much more, but you probably get the picture.

We’re fans of Zimmerman, so maybe that’s why this piece was so frustrating to read. It just seems kind of beneath her. And before you reply, “This is sexist!” We’d be just as annoyed if a guy wrote a gushing profile.

GQ deserves a healthy amount of blame too, because a love letter to a celebrity is maybe the poorest choice for a men’s magazine cover story ever. If next month’s issue contains OMG or LOL in any way, we’re canceling our subscription.