Labash Advises Reader to Never Read his Column Again

The Daily Caller‘s advice columnist Matt Labash gets scrappy today. He orders a reader named “Barb” who trashes Editor-in-Chief Tucker Carlson to never read his column again.

It’s not so much another defense of Tucker (as he offered last week) as much as it’s an obvious dislike for Barb. “Why would anyone care about what happens to pit bulls?!?” Barb asks and proceeds to describe the dogs as “beady-eyed beasts.” As an afterthought she adds,  “Tucker Carlson should be fired. The man is a whack job.”

An excerpt: Don’t take this the wrong way, Barb. Because I generally don’t discriminate against readers. Red and yellow,  black and white, they are all precious in His sight. And God knows I have my share of nutloafs in the audience (you know who you are, Mom). But I have to draw the line somewhere. So it might as well be with animal-cruelty-loving, budding- psychopath-serial-killers like you.

Consequently, I forbid you from reading this column in the future.

In a second question from “Nancy Pelosi”, Labash reluctantly ponders House Speaker John Boehner‘s tan. Labash says stop talking about the lawmaker’s “apricot” skin already and start seeing his tears for what they are: the act of a “pimpled tween.”