Petraeus Sex Scandal Becomes Scandal

The sex scandal centered on Gen. David Petraeus added another juicy layer of “Scandal” yesterday. D.C.-based crisis manager Judy Smith, the woman who inspired ABC’s political drama Scandal, is now involved.

So far, not much is known about what Smith is doing in the case. USA Today reported that her service was retained by Jill Kelley, a Florida socialite who is said to have received threatening emails from Petraeus’ side piece Paula Broadwell. Kelley also reportedly exchanged sexy time emails with top commander in Afghanistan General John Allen. But if Smith’s role in this real life scandal is anything like it is portrayed by actress Kerry Washington on ABC’s Scandal, she’s pulling some serious strings behind the scenes.

Here’s how things would go down if this whole cheating mess were a Scandal plot…

First, Kelley would have summoned Washington’s character Olivia Pope on the hush. Pope, looking gorgeous in a flawless white power suit, would walk into Kelley’s home to find her hysterically crying at the kitchen counter. Kelley would be convinced that her life is ruined, especially if any of the salacious emails she’s undoubtedly been sending to the General Allen’s character are made public. Pope would assure Kelley everything will be fine if she follows her directions very closely.

Naturally, Kelley would not follow the instructions she’s given that would spare her public shame, and it would turn out that a political opponent of the General has been secretly taping their sexy midnight rendezvous. And yet, Pope would make the tape go away with her own convenient piece of blackmail (probably in the form of a separate affair she’s aware of) as leverage and save the day for Kelley.

Before it’s all over Pope will have learned that the President of the United States has known about Petraeus’ affair for at least a year and said nothing because he worried it would harm his chances for reelection (and his own affair). But naturally Pope can’t say anything either, because she is screwing both Petraeus and POTUS.

End scene.