John Kelly Chats Away With Blinding Speed

Earlier, Post columnist John Kelly held an online chat about all things D.C., including the death of a classical music radio station, his chatting efficiency, and even the popularity of his chatting colleagues. Some excerpts:

    Rockville, Md.: The Post reports today that Dan Snyder is buying WGMS and changing it to a sports station! That means the last remaining classical music station in D.C. is gone. I am so sad. There are thousands of people in this town who adore classical music, we have a thriving major symphony, choral groups, chamber music – people get on line at the Ken Center at 10:00 p.m. and wait in the cold all night to get a ticket to sing Handel’s Messiah!

    Why, John, why? What did we classical music lovers ever do to you all? So so sad.

    John Kelly: I have a theory. Where do you mostly hear classical music these days? The dentist’s office. With what do we associate dentists? Pain and blood. I think this subconscious connection may help explain the demise of classical music across the nation’s airwaves.

    Or maybe it’s because there hasn’t been any new classical music in about 200 years.

    Say There John: Are you some kind of an overachiever? I just signed on and you’ve already answered more questions that many of your colleagues do in their whole session?

    John Kelly: Those buncha slackers. And I knocked those off with one hand and one eyeball. I’m using the other hand and eyeball to speed-read the Iraq Study Group report.

    Arlington, Va.: Hey John,
    Just wanted to say I love your chat. Can you also take over Weingarten’s chat? I’m sure Gene is a good guy, but his chat was becoming awful and definitely needs a rest. There are no more city/state puns to make and bathroom anxiety jokes have reached their limit. Thank you for your service…

    John Kelly: Gene is irreplaceable, chat-wise and many other-wise. Did you notice all the flags at half-staff on Tuesday, the first day his chat was dark? We hope he’ll be returning in the spring, after he’s completed his takeover of various other forms of mass media. I’m sure the Gene Weingarten ringtones will be coming soon.