Groan. Attack of Another Advice Column

Oh, no.

There’s another advice column on the loose. For at least the next four weeks we have to endure WaPo Magazine’s new “Work Advice” column. This, after getting our heads around Washingtonian‘s brand new bickering Harry & Louise. This one is Karla L. Miller, who sailed through the newspaper’s month-long workplace advice columnist contest, and won. She comes to this gig after writing and editing tax publications for 16 years and looks like she comes straight off the set of “Designing Women.” Delta, Dixie and the gang would welcome her right in.

In short, her advice isn’t a complete crap show — but the whole idea is. For one thing, she’s no Carolyn Hax. For another, why does this town need another advice column? And on what planet are worn out cold shower sex jokes funny? The column begins with an obvious question about workplace love. Karla says “discretion” and “distance” are important. “By discretion, I mean that the dating couples give no sign that they are more than co-workers,” she writes. “No three-hour lunches, no whisper-fights by the water cooler, no Seven Minutes in the Supply Closet.” It’s bad enough that her examples include childrens’ coming of age sex games, but her worst sentence involves a boss who might forbid a workplace romance: “His forbidding you to date is about as effective (and probably as legal) as ordering you to body-paint each each other with chocolate.” (The only thing more cringeworthy than this is the aforementioned cold shower joke.)

We throw rotten tomatoes at WaPo, Karla and the advice column and will rate all remaining columns on a rotten tomato scale of 1-10. This one earns her 8.5 rotten tomatoes. The .5 is an unpleasant gush of tomato.

If you really feel compelled to read it, visit here.