What’s Weingarten Writing?

Where in the world is WaPo’s Gene Weingarten? The “humorist” took a week off from his weekly column, so we have been given a “Best Of” from Gene. While, that might seem like an oxymoron, this week’s column is actually quite good.  Plus, it tackles one of our favorite topics: big butts.

The column originally ran in 2006 and it chronicles a curious trip that Gene took to New York to meet with a plastic surgeon. According to Gene, he saw an ad for buttock enlargements, so he lined up an interview with Dr. George Lefkovits, the man who makes big booty dreams come true. Sorry, I shouldn’t be so crass. The doctor told Gene that he tries to “augment and re-profile buttocks”

How does a doctor make the bottom bigger and how is Gene’s derriere doing?

The good doctor tells Gene about the procedure, which he has dubbed “The Brazilian Butt Fill.” Essentially, he just injects more fat into the ass to create a “more voluptuous buttock through additional projection.” Gene makes a good point. We’re Americans. We’re already fatasses. Gene told the doctor, “the American behind has been increasing in size almost exponentially over the years, to the point that the makers of bus, train and movie theater seats have had to broaden them.”

So then why would a doctor subject someone to this? Well, we find out that one of these procedures costs TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS. The doctor tells Weingarten that he’s performing “three or four a week.” Why the hell would someone pay TEN THOUSAND dollars for something that can be achieved by just visiting the drive-thru a few extra times per week?

By the end of the column, Gene even has the doctor size up his butt to see if he might benefit from a little touchup. The doctor told him that he, in fact, had a flat, lopsided, droopy butt. Um, lopsided? Sadly, Gene passed on paying 10 grand for the procedure and kept his saggy butt. Although, this column originally ran in 2006. Maybe he’s had a change of heart or practiced his gluteal exercises?

We wrote Weingarten to see if he’s addressed his bottom.

My email to Gene:

Hi Gene…

Wanted to get your comment for FishbowlDC.

On your Brazilian Butt Fill column, you mentioned that you passed on the procedure. Since this piece was originally run in 2006, I wanted to see if you’ve had a change of heart since then. Have you had any plastic surgery to repair the flaws in your buttocks?

UPDATE: Stop the PRESSES! Gene replied to FishbowlDC. He wrote simply and unapologetically, “I do not have flaws in my buttocks.”