FishbowlBrooklyn: Babies In Bars, Next On CNN

Every once in a while we will stumble upon an article and cringe so violently that our ironic thick-rimmed glasses crash to the floor. This, then, is such an article. CNN has posted a deep, probing look into a “trend” currently taking Brooklyn by storm: Babies in bars.

On one corner, we have 26-year-old Julieanne Smolinski, who, for the love of Jim Beam, just wants to get completely fucking faded on a Tuesday night without your little Tallulah Skylar silently judging her. Is that too much to ask? Slurs Smolinski:

I will get up on the subway for kids. I will be tolerant of them kicking the back of my seat while seeing a G-rated movie. But let me have my bars.

Cheers, Jules.

In the other corner we have, of course, a writer. Matt Gross is 35, a freelance writer, an editor for a blog called DadWagon (not porn) and the columnist for The New York Times‘ “Frugal Traveler.” Mumbles Gross:

As a stay-at-home dad, it can be kind of isolating. Bars, as much as they’re places to drink, they’re places to socialize and meet people. I long for adult contact. I don’t want to be excluded from the adult world.

Erica Reitman, the blogger behind F****ed in Park Slope, says local watering holes feel pressure — from entitled, enraged, smug breeders who’ve never heard of neither babysitters nor cardboard boxes with perhaps a few little holes cut out on top — to allow babies in their faux old-timey establishments: “There wasn’t a march on the street, but there could have been. [Union Hall] relented under pressure and got rid of the policy.”

There would’ve been a march, maybe, but who has time for marching when they are organic, locally-grown peas to puree and totes bags featuring baby deer to collect?

In any case, we open this up to you, dear readers. Babies in bars: Our right as human beings, or “too real” reminders of how you behave, and smell, when drunk?