Columbia Sportswear Thinks Every Athlete Should Use PEDs

Women's_Platinum_860_TurboDown_JacketColumbia Sportswear is going to win the SEO game or else.

The company officially introduced its new TurboDown line to the public today with the tagline “Columbia Sportswear Encourages PED Use”. That’s technically “performance enhanced down”, but in case you missed it here’s the second sentence from the press release:

“TurboDown is a patent-pending insulation construction that creates such outsized results it’s like a “down jacket on steroids.'”

Get it yet? No? Here’s a quote from company CEO Tim Boyle:

“Performance Enhanced Down offers unmatched performance and this winter, you can experience how science can enhance the limitations of nature, and it’s legal!”

We’re not exactly sure how effective this campaign will be. Columbia’s site is not on the first page of search results for the phrase “sports steroids”, but it IS on the first page for “sportswear steroids.”

On the other hand, we can’t imagine too many people searching for the latter, so maybe this was just an attempt to have fun with a press release.

It made us click — and unfortunately, we’re not high on anything.

@PatrickCoffee Patrick Coffee is a senior editor for Adweek.