Burning Man Suffers Some Premature Burns, Should Be Patched Up In Time for Official Burning

Amateur pyrotechnician James Addis was arrested on felony arson charges for torching the symbol of the Burning Man festival four days before the scheduled ignition. Early yesterday, the Burning Man went up in flames as thousands of Burners turned to each other in disbelief saying, “September 1 already? How long was I out?”

The official word is that the Man will be rebuilt, in preparation to be reburned Saturday night. Should you need to indulge your inner arsonist, TMZ has a video of the effigy ablaze. We swear we hear plenty of people cheering as what we imagine to be the collective graywater of the entire community falls in a fine shower over the crowd.