Boehner Has a Crying Soulmate

Grown men crying is in.

Thankfully for Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio), he has a brand new, teary mate in Mike Jones, the security officer who took out a gunman at a school board meeting in Panama City on Tuesday. In a choke-filled presser this morning, Jones broke down while explaining what he had to do.

“What’s this community going to think of me?” Jones asked, saying that he had spent time with his pastor. “I’m known as ‘Salvage Santa,’ this nice guy and I’ve taken someone’s life.”

Jones said being a law enforcement officer you always think about this day. “The Duke Family, my heart goes out to you,” he told the family of Clay Duke, the man he shot and killed. “He was somebody’s son.  During the gun battle, I tried to get this gentleman to come outside with me … and that didn’t work. I saw that first shot…I lost it…I lost it….I cry at chic flicks too y’all. It was like seeing a newborn baby for the first time.” (He had watched the gunman shoot at the superintendent and miss).

A newborn that does what? Cries.