Ask Piranhamous Anything

Today we have another installment of: “Ask Piranhamous Anything.” And we do mean anything. Send your queries to This isn’t an advice column — Piranhamous doesn’t know what the hell you should do with your life any more than you do — and worse, he doesn’t care. Try to keep your questions short — we want to keep this fun, simple, funny and insightful.

1. Why does Mitt Romney and his camp act like such assholes to the media?

I think you flipped the words “Mitt Romney and his camp” and “the media.” Have you seen the reports on the Romney campaign? He says he’s not sure the Brits are ready for the start of the Olympics, the Olympics start and things are a mess, and the US media report it as a gaffe. Lather, rinse, repeat at every stop of his foreign trip. When the media report uncomfortable truths as “gaffes,” why would you want to talk to those assholes? Harry Reid makes up a lie and, like a pack of trained dogs, the media report it, caveats or not, to give the false impression the lie was designed to give. I wouldn’t talk to those assholes either.

2. Do you think it’s important for D.C. reporters to build up big Twitter followings? Will this matter in five or 10 years?

If they want people to read their work they should. As Facebook gets more annoying, it will be Twitter stepping in to fill the void of “word of mouth” social media to spread news. Plus, those who work for newspapers will need to have something to set themselves apart from all the other print reporters when the newspaper business collapses and moves completely to the digital world. Clicks = cash! In 5 to 10 years Twitter will either be the MySpace of our time or the only way humans communicate with one another. Either way, it’s important now.

3. Which of the Sunday talk show hosts offends you least and why? Feel free to comment on the ones you don’t pick — Gregory, Kurtz, Stephanopoulos, Candy Crowley, Schieffer, Matthews, Wallace.

The least? Probably a tie between Schieffer and Crowley…but only because I tend not to watch their shows most weekends. Then Wallace, who is mostly harmless but can come off as a douche when he tries to press someone on a question. Stephanopoulos is next. Given his past as a Democrat attack-dog, he at least sometimes tries to be objective. Then it’s Gregory. He’s no Russert, but given the biased NBC News machine in which he operates, he does a fair job. Kurtz is horrible. He comes across as a guy who gets his news second-hand from blogs. Most of the time he seems like someone who read Huffington Post, DailyKos and Media Matters to get his information and is shocked when someone dares to disagree with his uninformed opinion. Matthews is the worst. When not spitting on guests, he’s fighting off thrills running throughout his body for the President. When he does have a guest on who questions his orthodox faith in all things Democrat he gives them about five seconds before interrupting them with whatever talking point he was fed during the break. He’s like that annoying guy at the bar who interrupts everyone when they talk, then, when his obnoxiousness is pointed out to him, claims that guy is the jerk. At least the guy at the bar has the excuse of being drunk. Then again…

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