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Agency serfs who need to concoct a convincing excuse for missing work now have just the thing: Sounds for Slackers, a CD with nine sound-effects tracks that provide the perfect background for that dreaded early-morning call to the boss.

The CD, from Red Deluxe, an eight-person shop in Memphis, Tenn., includes “My Flight’s Been Canceled” (airport sounds), “My Kids Are Sick” (crying babies), “I’m on a Very Important Conference Call,” (hilariously annoying talk about ad-copy corrections) and the popular pair “My Grandma Died” and “My Grandma Died … No, No, the Other Grandmother” (both with organ music and other funeral sounds).

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