Hey there, puny human. Get your fleshy self into gear and over to the nearest McDonald's, stat. If you're late, you might find your jones for a frugal soda will go unquenched. Not because the special deal you saw on TV is going to expire, or anything trite like that. No, you're going to be foiled by a pack of marauding aliens who raided the joint and stole the fountain machine. Seriously. Just try choking down that Big Mac without an ice-cold bucket of high-fructose corn syrup to chug alongside it.