‘The Republican Party. It’s a 12-year plan.’
In a three-act play, things always get really bad at the end of Act 2, like disastrously bad, like lost-in-a-thick-forest-filled-with-starving-boars-and-no-compass bad. And then what happens in Act 3? Everything is resolved, everything is made right, everything comes together, always, every single time. Or everyone dies.
Either way, let’s not get caught up in debating decisions made over the last eight years. We’re forging ahead toward a lush and glorious finale where all the world’s troubles will be resolved with a full-cast ensemble musical number. Kim Jong-il and Osama bin Laden will part at centerstage as George W. Bush ascends on a swing outfitted with millions of dazzling twinkle-lights, harmonizing with Donald Rumsfeld and Condoleeza Rice. This coming election your ballot is a non-transferrable ticket to the Grand Ole Opry House; don’t forget the Raisinettes.
‘The Democratic Party. The one that’s not in office right now, at this current juncture, where shit is all f’ed up.’
If there’s such a thing as “guilty by association,” there should definitely be “innocent by disassociation.” If the current polls are any indication, simply not being the Republican Party should secure a majority of the votes. Our plan is, let’s draw a line in the sand and then lay down a towel on our side, slather on some sunscreen, get a John Le Carre novel, a Fuzzy Navel, relax and let the last eight years work for us.
(Submitted with Chris Beresford-Hill and Nick Spahr.)
'The Republican Party. It's a 12-year
