The Newspaper Project Makes Us Kinda Want To Barf

The Newspaper Project, launched by a small group of newspaper execs earlier this year, has come up with an ad campaign to…remind people why they like newspapers? Because all the people reading the newspaper are going to notice this ad and be like “Oh, right, that’s why I paid for this when I could have got it for free online!”

They’re not even good ads, as you can see:

newspaper project ad

Here’s our suggestion for a slogan:

Newspapers: Because You Can’t Afford A Kindle
Or maybe,

Newspapers. Doing Sudoku Online Is A Pain In The Ass

Or even:
Our Classified Ads Are Printed On Better Paper—That’s Why They Cost More

What slogan and/or ad campaign would you suggest for the newspaper industry? ‘Cause this clearly ain’t working.