New Ratter to be Just as Dumb as Old Ratter

Oh boy.

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Gawker alum A.J. Daulerio is ready to give Ratter—a site he launched just last year—another go. According to Capital New York, Daulerio is preparing a new version of Ratter, after the old version crapped out. The problem is that the new Ratter sounds just as stupid as the old Ratter.

Daulerio launched Ratter to much fanfare. Investors (Mark Cuban! Gawker Media!) were excited about the “Network of local city tabloids.”

“My hope is that the editors in Ratter cities will be tenacious distractions to their respective power-elites and consistently entertaining to everyone else,” said Daulerio. Yet Ratter’s biggest post was about texts from Justin Bieber that ended up not actually being from Bieber. Tenacious!

Ratter never really gained traction and so, last May, Daulerio cut every editorial staffer. Daulerio labeled the gutting a “pivot,” which was hilarious to everyone aside from the people he just fired.

Now, though, now things will be different. The new Ratter, according to Daulerio, will be “a new Gawker.” How? By posting “Cool stuff,” including personal essays and commentary. There will also be a database of 2,500 celebrities’ addresses, because that’s something people desperately want. There will be no news, because “News f*cking sucks.”

Setting the over/under on number of months the new Ratter lasts at 11. Yes, even with so much “cool stuff.”