John Gray’s New Book, ‘Work With Me,’ Dishes Gender Blind Spots & How to Overcome Them

If you’re a fan of author John Gray, Ph.D., you’re schooled by now on his countless relationship books such as Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.

Well, after years of conducting research and workshops along with consulting, he and co-author Barbara Annis, have a new book dropping tomorrow called Work With Me. The book tackles eight gender blind spots in the workplace and how to deal with them.

The New York Post interviewed Gray who mentioned women feel like they’re being excluded from situations that may lead to career advancement such as not being invited to get drinks with the guys.

One solution, said Gray, is to actually involve the guy. Instead of blaming him (that could lead to becoming defensive and antagonistic), he suggested focusing on results and possible solutions. “He becomes the solution, not the problem.”

Plus, the authors indicated men and women look for different types of recognition. Men look for acknowledgment regarding their results. In addition, they don’t want to be micromanaged. What do women want? They seek acknowledgment for challenges they face and having colleagues ask about their work to show interest in it.

In the piece, Gray pointed out, “The workplace was designed by men, for men. You’ve got an environment that has a set of rules, unspoken rules.”

Rules were meant to be broken, right? Or at least spiced up a bit. His recommendation is to strive for a balance between achievements that also promotes a cooperative, nurturing and collaborative environment.

As for another blind spot, well that would entail listening. In the category of communication skills, the authors pointed out a man may seem rude to interrupt a woman as she’s talking but interruptions are “very natural to a man’s way of thinking and acting but unnatural and unmannerly to women.”

In order to work harmoniously, Gray advises making an effort on both sides.“If you want to build trust, learn how to ask certain kinds of questions that are designed to build trust. Men don’t value being heard as much as women do.”