This Just In! Hilaria Baldwin is a Mom, Yoga Instructor and Instagram User

DailyMailLogoIt’s hard out there for a “Daily Mail Reporter.” The boss is staring over your shoulder in the tap-tap-tap sweatshop newsroom, wondering what clicks you have brought in lately. And so, just three minutes after posting a March 20 Hilaria Baldwin fluff piece, there is the need for a 9:35 p.m. update.

Maybe a caption for one of the Hilaria-with-child photos needed to be tweaked. Maybe ten giant-sized .jpegs just wasn’t quite enough. Who knows?

In any case, the Daily Mail piece wound up with the hallmarks of a vessel for the Web’s most-read newspaper:

– Gargantuan headline (19 words; 120 characters);
– Sexual innuendo (“Hilaria’s early morning Instagram snap was sure to please her husband Alec, who was most certainly the lucky photographer.”)
– Cram-tastic use (15+) of the SEO bullseye “yoga”.

The unnamed Daily Mail Reporter closes it all out with some upside-down media commentary:

Although Alec declared that he had officially opted out of public life, the 30 Rock star did seem happy to appear in Hilaria’s family yoga pose recently which featured the notoriously angry man grinning as he held their two pooches high in the air.

Up next? Perhaps figuring out the best new William-Stephen-Danny < Alec angle.

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