Ask Piranhamous Anything

Today we have another installment of: “Ask Piranhamous Anything.” And we do mean anything. Send your queries to This isn’t an advice column — Piranhamous doesn’t know what the hell you should do with your life any more than you do — and worse, he doesn’t care. Try to keep your questions short — we want to keep this fun, simple and insightful.

1. What’s your reaction to Current TV shuttering? What will you do without your nightly Joy Behar fix?

It will be devastating for those who want to feel like they’ve taken acid without having to make the time commitment to a real trip. As for the other 319,958,000 Americans (based on a population of 320 million), well, they’ll just have to make do with their anti-American tirades coming with an accent.

2. Who should be CNN’s next conquest after former ABC White House Correspondent Jake Tapper?

I would be nice if they replaced Soledad O’Brien. “Fox & Friends” is as stupid as “Morning Joe” is sanctimonious, making both unwatchable. If CNN could get rid of their left-wing hactivist host and replace her with a serious, unbiased person, or even balance her with a real conservative (not what passes for one on most of CNN), I think they could really make some headway in the ratings. But Soledad is worse than the two unwatchable options available in cable news now, which is saying something. A Tucker Carlson or Eric Erickson, calm conservatives without the bombast, would add some watchable balance. Either that or just put Jake Tapper on 24/7.

What should become of the idea to deport Piers Morgan? 3. Should CNN’s Piers Morgan be deported?

When our government is not sending busts of the great Winston Churchill back to them, the UK is our closest ally, so why would we do that to them? Piers is irrelevant and only gets attention by making a spectacle of himself like he has since Sandy Hook. He’s doing his song and dance right now for attention, and he’s getting it. But he’s getting it mostly through the Internet. He’ll fade back into the mist where he belongs soon enough, so no, I don’t want to inflict him back on our friends. Given their history, they’ve been through enough.