Ask Piranhamous Anything: Emergency Edition

This question came in today from an anonymASS reader and seemed like an emergency, so I was asked to write a special edition of “Ask Piranhamous Anything.” Being the giver I am, I humbly agreed. It is, after all, an emergency.

The anonymASS reader writes: “Why is John Solomon, an award-winning journalist and man of integrity, treated like dirt while shitheads like Britebarf and that Matt moron from the Daily Caller are treated as human beings, which they aren’t.”

Couple of things here, anonymASS.  First, as has been demonstrated in posts on this site, Solomon, of The Washington Times, is a full-blown vinegar and water bag with a hose attached to it. He’s won awards, true, but some of history’s greatest monsters have been Time’s “Man of the Year,” and there are a million “awards” out there, so let’s not pretend that’s a major accomplishment. Honesty is much more important than Plexiglas doorstops with your name carved into it. He claimed no involvement in layoffs, but multiple sources at The Washington Times say he was involved. Now, I understand the desire to not want to be the jerk who laid people off, or even be involved in laying people off. But claiming not to be involved doesn’t make you not involved, especially when you are.

Second, I can understand wanting to avoid the stigma of working on the Hindenburg, but if you happily sign your checks from Hindenburg, INC., you should admit you work there when you do media. Solomon went on WTOP and only claimed to be working at the Washington Guardian. You’d think the Chief Digital Officer, or whatever title they’ve made up for him, would want to help promote his employer, but you’d be wrong.

Finally, Breitbarf? Really? If you’re going to go to 11 on the immature dial, why not go straight to the “money shot” and call it “Breitfart”? As for “Matt moron,” I have to assume you mean Matthew Boyle (who is now with Breitbart, by the way. If you’re going to hate, educate yourself first.) Now, I have had my own problems with Matthew, but his being a “moron” isn’t one of them. He’s immature. But next to you, he’s a seasoned citizen.

I hope that answers your question. Thanks for writing!