Not content with being the sad last resort of lonely single people everywhere, Domino’s is now targeting a new niche market—brides and grooms.
To help newlywed couples and their lazy, inebriated wedding guests, the pizza chain and agency CP+B are out with the Domino’s Wedding Registry, a tongue-in-cheek gift service that lets family and friends buy delivery packages for the happy—or hungry and overwhelmed—lovebirds.
The website includes catering options for bachelor and bachelorette parties, as well as more clever deals like “Dancing With My Slice”—relief pizzas for the end of the reception (when everyone is certainly going to be drunk enough to need some ballast). It also offers irreverent lifelines for after the ceremony, like “Post-Honeymoon Adjustment to Real Life”—because who really wants to end up elbow deep in soapy dishwater after a long day at work—and, conversely, “Bust Out the Fine China”—because let’s be honest, when are you really going to use it otherwise?
The prices attached to each package correspond to gift card amounts that can be used on Dominos.com to get anything—so even those destined to die alone sitting eating pizza on the couch can get themselves a romantic gift this Valentine’s Day (a promo image for the new campaign demonstrates the proper way to eat Domino’s, regardless of your relationship status—in a wedding dress).
“Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, so we wanted to give recently-engaged couples that are passionate about pizza the chance to register for something they both truly love as much as their partner,” says Jenny Fouracre, Domino’s spokesperson. “Choosing wedding gifts can be a daunting process, especially if couples can’t agree on what to register for. Our registry aims to bring couples together over their shared love of pizza.”
She adds: “We hear often from customers that Domino’s was a part of their big day, from proposals to after-hours meals at their wedding. We wanted to make it easier for people to ask for and receive something that they’ll really use.”
It’s not clear whether the wedding party can yet demand their pizza be delivered by drone, which would make the option infinitely more fly, or will have to settle for the most impressively overengineered pizza car in history.
Though in all seriousness, anyone planning to eat Domino’s during the latter hours of a reception should probably put on a full-body pizza bib.
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