Let Us Pray

The Catholic Church hasn’t had the best PR lately. Now it’s even showing up in drug-dealer advertising (oh yes, there is such a thing)—as the place interested parties in Austin, Texas, should call to learn the trade.

Recruitment fliers with the phone number of St. Mary’s Cathedral blanketed at least one Austin neighborhood recently, according to the Austin American-Statesman. Authorities are unsure if it was a mistake or a prank, but the calls have been coming in.

“It’s very bizarre,” said Helen Osman, spokeswoman for the Diocese of Austin. “I have to say, I’ve never seen anything like this in the 10 years since I’ve been with the diocese.”

The ads encourage prospects—churchgoing or not—to earn “thousands weekly in the exciting trade of drug dealing.” They promise instruction on “how to bribe your way through the legal system and pay visits to the local middle schools to grab customers while they’re young.”

Although the folks at St. Mary’s were taken aback at first, they’re now looking at it as an opportunity. “If people call, we can give them a Mass schedule,” Osman said. “Maybe do some evangelizing.”