Subaru’s Latest Ads Need a Flashing Warning Light for Sweetness Overload

Too much or just right?

Subaru stakes its claim as the car for people whose lives are just so damn cute in this pair of new spots from Carmichael Lynch.

"The Date" follows a young couple as they drive down country roads, first stopping at a diner for chocolate shakes and then at a produce stand, where the woman sticks an orange in her mouth for, I dunno, an impromptu impression of Marlon Brando from The Godfather, or something. It's such an awkward moment, I would've split and left her there. This guy's more of a gentleman, however, and drives her straight to the commercial's cutesy twist ending. Turns out they're strangers who just met when her truck ran out of gas and he drove her to the station to get some. I guess they really clicked on the ride. How sweet.

"Redressing Room" tells the tale of a toddler who keeps undressing in the backseat. "If I've gotta wear clothes, you've gotta wear clothes," says his perky mom. (If I had a dime for every time my boss at AdFreak has told me that!)

Look, there's nothing wrong with these spots; they're well directed by Lance Acord, and I'm sure they'll resonate for some. That said, I found them strangely insincere. They just feel too much like, well, Commercials with a capital C, right down to details like the hunky "Date" dude's windblown hair and scraggy bread and the "Redressing Room" mom's cutesy (yet disturbing) decision to keep extra kids' clothes in plastic drawers in the hatchback.

Stranded in this deflating post-modern-Rockwell vision of America, I'm the one who needs a lift.

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