Space cadets desperately need a relaunch

This nation’s space program is in serious need of an image overhaul. First, we had astronaut Lisa Nowak running around in a diaper (go ahead, Google it) as she attempted to kidnap a romantic rival. Now, a report commissioned by NASA has determined that some space-shuttle crew members have flown while drunk. What’s next, Jell-O shots and nude Twister on the International Space Station? Actually, that would make me want to sign up, but it probably wouldn’t enhance the brand for most of the general public. Space exploration used to be a noble pursuit, punctuated by patriotic sips of Tang and weightless rounds of lunar golf. Maybe John Glenn is available for some PSAs. He nearly flamed out on re-entry back in ’62, so at least he’s no stranger to sly non sequiturs. NASA better get its act together soon. If the press keeps poking around, they’re liable to unearth the top-secret soundstage where the moon landings were faked. (You can Google that one, too.)

—Posted by David Gianatasio