Oscar Mayer seeking Wienermobile drivers

Why can't I get some respect from Oscar Mayer? Why won't the company hire me to drive its promotional vehicles? I can do radio interviews! I can make TV appearances! I've got an upbeat, bubbly personality and a background in marketing or journalism! How come they accepted Brian Morrissey's application and not mine? Not fair! … What? Oh, sorry. I thought they wanted someone to drive their Whiner-mobiles. I've been informed that the company is actually seeking drivers for it's Wiener-mobiles, which are shaped like giant hot dogs. Whiner, wiener: The words are so similar. Like liar and lawyer.

—Posted by David Gianatasio