King Richard offering you financial freedom

The British are coming! Well one Brit, actually: billionaire Richard Branson, who rides into Boston’s Copley Square today (on an eco-friendly bike) to launch a new ad campaign for Virgin Money USA. They’re closing off part of Boylston Street, which means I might have to risk a blast of T-Radio, as the subway will be the only way to get around. The event is being billed as a “financial revolution” and, according to the press release, will feature “a 24-hour countdown clock, a cast of sexy Georgettes, a fife and drum corps and lots of extra surprises.” (No mention of a hot tub.) Didn’t our colonial forefathers fight for independence to keep this kind of stunt off our shores? Turncoats—I mean, agencies—Mullen and Jack Morton are helping with the launch. As for what Virgin Money USA actually does: It “provides a safe and easy way for people to make loans between relatives and friends.” I simply refuse to lend relatives and friends money. That’s the safest and easiest way.

—Posted by David Gianatasio