Jordan’s Furniture screwed by Red Sox win

To whom it may concern:
  So, the Red Sox won the World Series. That means we at Jordan’s Furniture now have to make good on that offer of free sofas, chairs and beds for customers who ordered them between March 7 and April 16 of this year. We took 30,000 orders. The stunt was a huge success, got us lots of headlines and boosted our visibility. Our marketing department deserves all the credit. They’re a superbly talent bunch of out-of-the-box thinkers. Yeah, this was a real home run. Now, we’ve gotta pay up. And pay and pay and pay.
  In related news, our entire marketing department is now available for hire. Please accept this note as our unequivocal recommendation for their employment at your company. We’re sure they’ll be a smashing success … somewhere else. Genuine all-stars, etc.
  Good luck. You’re going to need it.
  Jordan’s Furniture
P.S.: “Rare feat,” “Highly unlikely,” “Don’t worry, boss, it’ll never happen,” my ass!