Today's deep, patient sigh goes out to the California Milk Processor Board and Goodby, Silverstein & Partners for their new "Got milk?" campaign positioning milk as a cure-all for the grab bag of unpleasantness known as PMS. They tried this once before, in 2005. The new campaign is called "Everything I Do Is Wrong," and with headlines like "We can BOTH blame myself" and "I apologize for letting you misinterpret what I was saying," it presents women as more uncontrollably irrational than ever before! The print ads send you to a Flash-heavy microsite (how quaint!) that tracks the global PMS level and helps men create apology videos with big-eyed flying kittens. Now, I know what you're thinking: This whiny bitch is being too sensitive. She's probably PMSing RIGHT NOW! Let's put my gender aside and consider this as a long-term marketing strategy for milk. The campaign probably will appeal to men, as sad as that makes me. But you know that poor, unknowingly sexist guy out there will inevitably offer milk to his significant other as a nice way to say, "I think your concerns are invalid and you're just bitching at me because your baby maker is about to blow." Even sadder, that same asshat will probably do it when she's not anywhere near her period. And once she associates the suggestion that she drink milk with the suggestion that she's a hormone-crazed psycho-bitch, do you think her milk consumption will increase or decrease? You can let me know what you think in the comments, but I think it would be better if we could both just agree to agree with me. For the record, a Goodby rep tells AdFreak: "We are very happy with the response to the campaign so far. We knew it was going to be a little controversial." More ads from the campaign after the jump.