This Glorious Local Restaurant Ad Will Take Your Mind Off Everything Wrong in the World

Troy had us at 'scroomin berts'

Feeling sad? Uninspired? Sick at heart over basically every single thing happening in the world right now? Well then, welcome to the "empire of taste," a place where you will be guided through the world of Staten Island's latest … I'm going to assume Greek restaurant, Troy, where they serve delicious scroomin berts (don't ask me, man, just watch the video).

This is a.) fantastic and b.) probably a gag, but Troy is definitely a real restaurant where someone with a Central European accent picks up the phone and says they've been open for a few days (although the video is from April, so I'm calling that fishy). But you know what? If it's a gag, it's a great gag. If the proprietor is unable to prosper in the restaurant biz, I recommend he try to find a gig at Comedy Central.

Eater found a whole host of marketing images for this fabulous eatery, and I'm going there as soon as I can, if only to check out the dragon.

This is clearly the kind of thing that the Internet spontaneously generates after several days of horrible news stories, much like that Nicki Minaj song about buttocks (although not everyone is as happy about that as I am). Anyway, the restaurant is open, according to its Facebook page, and it's calling itself "the most innovative theme restaurant in New York," but honestly I worry that no food could ever top this ad.