Have a pathetic life? Come to Louisville.

Why visit Louisville? Because, according to the Kentucky city’s new ad campaign, your life sucks. The campaign is brutal, not to mention informative. I had no idea girls in Ohio didn’t tattoo their butts, or that Dallas forbade black people from eating tofu and playing the cello. The ads are pretty weird, and people in Louisville don’t know what to make of them. Why didn’t they just let wrestling legend and Louisville native Jim Cornette talk up their city? If his passion for a fake sport is any indication, they’d be scraping verbal diarrhea off the ceiling if the subject were his hometown.

—Posted by David Kiefaber