Guaranteed millions from my iPhone* debut

OK, BusinessWeek, I’ll enter your $500,000 online contest for wannabe moguls to post short pitch videos for new ventures. (You haven’t launched it, but that won’t stand in my way. I enter all media-related contests here on AdFreak.) I’ll wow the VC community with a mash-up of Apple’s “1984” spot. But instead of introducing the Macintosh, my product will be unveiled at the end: I call it the iPhone*, the asterisk indicating that it’s not Apple’s new product, it’s just some old phones I keep in my sock drawer. (The ’93 Tandy still powers up if you jiggle the battery.) My business plan: The iPhone is so hot, people will pay $499 for anything with that name. The * will protect me from trademark lawsuits, and Apple will have to buy me out to avoid confusion in the marketplace. It’s a better idea than Microsoft’s Zune, and I’ll throw in some Kmart tube socks for free.

—Posted by David Gianatasio